BUTLINS memories of 1976...
It was a very hot summer in 1976 and i was working at Butlins Minehead,and
being a young 19 year old l was in my element.I was filthy rich with time on my hands. I had joined Butlins as an adventure
rather than a long term comitment,but as time went on and the summer became hotter, l started to fall for the magic that was
Butlins. July was a very hot month and i was to meet a very special person, her name was Agnes,
Agnes Fartbanger, she got that name for a very special reason, she could not stop breaking wind, she could blow you away from 20 paces, the aroma from this young lady
was something quite special, put it this way if you could bottle it you would be worth a fortune.
I was not going to let this little
problem mar my love for this otherwise beautiful young lady. What l had to do was to find a cure for her ailment,
and with my money it should not pose a problem. firstly.. l engaged the expertise of a Dr Letsumrip,
this man was to charge me £200 per hr to find a cure for Agnes. Little did i realise that Agnes and Dr Letsumrip
were two people working together, and very soon they would take me to the cleaners and leave me stony broke.. Dr
Letsumrip seemed a nice chap , meeting him for the first time, but it was while he was in the other room that
l heard this allmighty noise, yes it was, DR Letsumrip breaking wind, the penny should
have dropped, but l was so in love with Agness Fartbanger that l was blind to the dangers that
lay ahead........
Dr Letsumrip suggested that l buy two tickets to Las Vegas
so he could take her to a specialist for an operation on her bowels. lf this was to be a cure for Agnes, then
l was only too willing to buy the tickets, alarm bells should
have started ringing when Dr Letsumrip asked for £100,000 for expenses, but
love is blind so l gave him the money.....Two weeks later they were back with Agnes in a distressed state, she
said they had been robbed at the airport and she needed more money to fly to Accapulco to see a Dr Stitchum of backside
repairs. My love for Agnes was such that all reasoning was gone, so l gave them the money so Dr Stichum
could do the operation that would make Agnes a well woman. 14 days later they were back both had super suntans and no money,they
said that they had been robbed again, and could l give them some more money, l told them all my money had gone and that
l had got the sack from Butlins, and was now signing on at the local employment exchange. On hearing that my money
had all gone she promptly punched me in the mouth, kicked me in the testacles and told me she only wanted me for my money,
and that Dr Letsumrip was her husband....How could l have been so stupid, why didn't l see the warning signs, they say love
is blind. Never mind l was about to meet another young lady who was to become something special for awhile....her
name was Fanny Stringalong, ..Yes Fanny was a lovely young lady who was to make me go weak at the knee.(clic below to follow
my story.)
